Black Eyes on the Prize

Tensions were running high last Thursday during a shoot where Quinn ... er, Paul (whatever) walked around the apartment aimlessly. For an extremely short scene, Jon, Quinn and I were feeling a tad discouraged by the fact that we had spent close to eight hours shooting, and we'd only really done one short sequence. That's when the expletives and slurs started flying.

It started with hurtful accusations, calling one another "jive," and "lame," and then it started getting ugly. Quinn called Jon a "honky," and when I laughed, Jon called me a "no-goodnik," I countered with "goy-toy," then Quinn threw down with "Jewbacca," to which Jon and I accused Quinn of being a "self-hating Scooby-Doo," before long, it wasn't hilariously archaic/made-up racial slurs we were exchanging, but fists, elbows and knees.

I wish I could say that was the end. But then Kat and Patrick showed up. Now Kat's been doing us a big-ass favor by coming to the shoots and in between discussing Batman: The Animated Series with Quinn, assisting us with make-up. As for Patrick, well, I'd never met the dude, but I'll tell you this much, he's a born fighter. After attempting to break up the fight, Kat and Patrick were drawn in after Jon made a disparaging comment along the lines of "Bruce Wayne licks balls" and I mentioned that "Clark Kent makes for a far deeper and more interesting character." When all was said and done we all had some nasty shiner going for ourselves. Click on the thumbnails below to see the photos.

Top row (from left): (Director) Jon Garcia, Quinn Allan (Paul), (Assistant to Mr. Quinn Allan) Jeff Hammond

Bottom row (from left): Kat (Make-up Artist), Patrick (Born Fighter)

Now some of those bruises might look a little fake, but really, would I lie to you? The answer, of course, is "yes, I absolutely would lie to you." See, Jon needed, for whatever reason, to learn how to apply black-eye make-up, and thanks to the magic of the movies, and Quinn's skillful application, we all left the location with fake bruises and went, where else? The strip cluurb.

We all quickly forgot that we were walking around with fake shiners, so people passing us threw odd looks our way, inciting my ire. Thus I risked getting real black eyes, since, had I actually attempted to fight anyone, I would have had my ass handed to me given I have the strength and fortitude of a terminally ill 8-year-old.

Well, that's all for now, stay tuned for something of vague interest ... (no promises)